Amateur Turns Moral Philosophy on Its Head

Amateur philosopher Syl Gilbertson of Clyde, OH struck philosophical gold this morning, antiquating the entire corpus of moral philosophy from Plato to Peter Singer with the simple two word dictum "Be Good!"

In an exclusive afternoon interview, Gilbertson described his revelation. "I was just sitting in my bathroom, after my morning coffee, pondering right and wrong, good and evil, and it was like a little light went on and the answer came to me: Be Good!"

Gilbertson went on to enumerate an extensive list of world problems resulting from people not being good, beginning with obvious biggies such as war, torture and the suppression of political speech and moving on to issues such as protection of rights to privacy, making all the information in the world available at the click of a button, putting toilet seats down and making sure the Charmin rolls over the top.

When asked how such a simple and universal solution to all moral problems managed to elude human history's greatest thinkers, Gilbertson retorted, "The problem with great minds is that they tend to overanalyze problems. When people think too hard they can easily miss a simple solution staring them in the face. Just be good!"

Photo by WiseAcreDesign. Attempted satire by Metamerist. :-)