Wednesday, November 22, 2006

On Being Virtually Cool

I've a rant in me or two. The basic idea behind this one is this:

If it ain't cool in the real world, perhaps the virtual equivalent ain't cool either.

What if brick and mortar companies behaved like software companies and online vendors? (I'll let you deduce identities.)

Begin imaginary metaphorical sequence... diddle-a-doot, diddle-a-doot, diddle-a-doot...

So I'm driving to work this morning, just clipping along nicely, when all of a sudden a man with a sign is standing right in the middle of the road in front of me. I bring my car to a stop, roll down the window. He leans in and says, "Hey, I'm a representive of your car manufacturer. There's been a recall. We need to replace a few parts. If you're busy now, we can do it later."

I tell him I'd prefer to do it later. He gets out of the way. I go back to clipping down the freeway. Five minutes later, guess who? I stop the car again. Lather, rinse and repeat. Induction tells me he's going to be pulling this stunt and stopping me every five minutes until I let him change the muffler bearing, and induction is right.

Not really cool. Not virtually cool either.

And don't get me going...

I was out shopping the other day. When I asked a store clerk about the price of an item, he coyly said, "I'll tell you, if you put it in your shopping cart." As I exited, employees kept popping signs in my face. I had to bat them away one by one to get out of the place.

When I tried to exit through the revolving door, it kept spinning me around and plopping me right back inside. Somehow the store creators had come to the conclusion that "EXIT" means people want to stay. (A knuckle sandwich was in order.)

diddle-a-doot, diddle-a-doot, diddle-a-doot...


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