Sunday, October 21, 2007

Example #23

A new exercise in contrast...

Example #23

Spent the past week in the enchanting waters of the Caribbean.

My first cruise, beliefs and theories were reinforced and acquired. For example, it's true these excursions turn into horrendous exercises in gluttony. By the end of the week, you and your family have fallen into the epicurean depravity of Henry VIII or an ancient Roman living on the cusp of social collapse. The waiters are brainwashed with the directive "Never say no!" and they obey the order as dutifully as the subjects of the Milgram experiment.

On Day 1, you're still in sync with reality, pragmatically splitting entrees with your spouse. On Day 7, you opt for a full order of prime rib AND a full order of the crab while you scold your children for wastefully taking six pieces of cake simply for the sake of harvesting the frosting. Free insulin should be included.

I've also forged a new hypothesis: the probability of going on a Caribbean cruise without hearing a Bob Marley song is 0% with an infinite number of digits of precision. If you attempt such a thing and don't hear Three Little Birds or Jamming, there's only one possible explanation: hate to break it to you, but you're clinically deaf, dude.


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home