Longevity Tips for Mice

If you're a fat mouse, drink red wine (Red Wine Extends Life of Fat Mice). Fat or skinny, consider moving to a colder climate (Cold Mice Live Longer) and starving yourself (Low-Calorie Diet Slows Aging in Mice), but be forewarned that red wine, indeed, contains calories.

If you starve yourself and go from being a fat mouse to a skinny mouse, I'm presently uncertain of the value of red wine. Beyond that, if you work your way into my cupboards, dig into my fortified cereals (Folate-Deficient Mice Prone to Colorectal Cancer).

(And, if you're wandering around my furnace, you may want to avoid the peanut butter in the mouse traps, because it's probably covered with alfatoxin.)

Update: scientists make blind mice see again! (Sources say they're plotting against farmer's wife.)