Upsellers

He approached the counter with apprehension.

"Welcome to Upsellers!"
"Hi, I'd like..."
"Can I interest you in Upsell #1?"
"Uh, no. I'd just like what I always get."
"Are you sure you wouldn't like to upgrade that to Upsell #2?"
"No, thanks. Just what I always get."
"Do you have an Upsell card?"
"Um, no."
"Would you like an Upsell card? You'll save 15% today!"
"No, thanks. I'd just like to pay the way I always do."
"Are you on the Upsellers mailing list?"
"No."
"Would you like to be? We'll notify you about all sorts of great things!"
"No, thanks."
"Will that be all today?"
"Yes, thank you."

Sigh. This experience is a lot more painful than it used to be.