Saturday, December 16, 2006

The Tiny Axe of Truth

"The truth is far more powerful than any weapon of mass destruction."
- Mahatma Ghandi

photo by Mel B.

The diet industry in America has become a towering $40 billion sequoia. Even though this industry provides a livelihood for thousands of people, it also seems to fleece millions of Americans of hard-earned cash, steering them away from simple facts in the process. I've decided it's time to bring out the tiny axe of truth and chop this mighty sequoia down.

Given the disastrous economic consequences that will inevitably result from the collapse of the diet industry, I need to assure you that this isn't a rash decision on my part. I realize that what I'm about to do will displace thousands of human beings employed at diet centers across the nation. I realize there may be no Christmas turkey for people who depend on diet books devoted to the miracles of eating pure citrus or abstaining from carbohydrates. I worry about the impact this may have on B. Dalton.

I'm sorry, but this is for the good of society.

Here goes...

One swing of the tiny axe of truth...

The truth is your body is a machine, you're consuming too much fuel and not burning enough. You need to eat less and exercise more!


Whoa! Look out below! Watch that sucker fall to the ground!

(I'm sorry. Is this too cynical?)


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